


Of Ladybugs And Monsters

by orphan_account



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/M, Feels, Future Fic, Heavy Angst, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pain, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-06-05 10:47:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6701761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ladybug’s breath hitched. </p>
<p>“Why, Chat?”, she hissed and glared at the superhero in front of her. No, scratch that. The person in front of her was no superhero. He was no hero. </p>
<p>Chat Noir gave her his trademark grin and winked at his lady as a feeling of betrayal washed over her and the anger inside of her rose. He looked like her chaton, but he was so different at the same time.</p>
<p>“I guess our views have changed. I can not follow you anymore, my Lady”, he said with a shrug and light shake of his head.</p>
<p>|| Angst. More Angst. Many Feels. Much Pain. Read at own risk. ||</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Ladybug’s breath hitched. 

“Why, Chat?”, she hissed and glared at the superhero in front of her. No, scratch that. The person in front of her was no superhero. He was no hero. 

Chat Noir gave her his trademark grin and winked at his lady as a feeling of betrayal washed over her and the anger inside of her rose. He looked like her _chaton_ , but he was so different at the same time.

“I guess our views have changed. I can not follow you anymore, my Lady”, he said with a shrug and light shake of his head.

How could he act so relaxed in a situation like this? Ladybug gritted her teeth and balled her hands into fists, arms stiff at each side of her body. Her body was trembling and she had to hold back tears. 

“Mon chaton-”, she said but Chat Noir lifted up a finger and shut her up with that simple motion.

He slammed his staff into the ground and it was extended enough so he could lean on it, his eyes serious now and looked intensly at Ladybug, his emerald eyes sharper than any knife.

“No. I am not yours anymore”, he said quietly. His voice seemed hollow and the chuckle that left his lips seemed cold. “No more. I can not go this way.”

Ladybug frowned. She could hear her heartbeat echo in her ears and it was difficult to breath, the weight of the betrayal too heavy on her. How has it come to this?

“Y-You can not leave me…”, she whispered, still in denial. Chat Noir would never betray her. She trusted him.

“I am afraid I am about to do so.”

“No!”, she cried out and the graveness of the whole situation hit her like a truck. She felt vulnerable and weak. She wasn’t Ladybug right now. She was just Marinette in a silly disguise. “We are partners, Chat! You cannot leave me! You mustn’t leave me!”

She was alone, wasn’t she? Now even her partner left her…

He was serious. His eyes were cold but she knew him too well to not notice the hidden pain within. If it hurt him then why did he do this to her? If he didn’t want to leave, then why did he turn her his back? If he didn’t want to fight her, then why did he look at her as if she was the enemy now?

Slowly he straightened himself again, not leaning onto the baton anymore and stepped closer to Ladybug with a sigh. Maybe she was too shocked and stunned to act. It was his chance to get over with this as smoothly as possible.

“My Lady… Give me your Miraculous”, he said quietly, voice low and dark as the noirette stepped slowly away from her former partner.

* * *

Alya stared quietly at the newest video she had updated on the Ladyblog. The computer screen illuminated the otherwise dark room and she sighed heavily, reading all those comments. 

Chat Noir and Ladybug were not partners anymore and whole Paris knew now. The police, the mayor, even the little children in the kindergarten knew. The superhero duo has infamous, everyone knew about their adventures. Only that they were no duo anymore. 

“They parted ways, huh?”, Adrien said quietly, standing behind her in the dimly lit room. Alya’s back was facing him so she couldn’t see his expression. 

His face was filled with darkness, an unexplainable mix from satisfaction and pain. His eyes were dull, so different from how they used to be, the green inside seeming more like of a poisonous color than the lively shimmer of a gem. The model’s face was flawless, taken care off. No traces of the lack of sleep or anything else was visible. He wore a mask and he wore it well.

“Yeah… How did it come to this?”, whispered Alya and shook her head quietly.

Adrien was about to open his mouth when Nino stood frustrated from the couch and walked over to Alya, turning off the screen of her computer. 

“Dude, you need to stop looking at this”, he said, clenched jaw and shoulders tense. He didn’t like this. One superhero fell and got corrupted for good. This is some grave situation right there and he was not ready to deal with this shit. All he wanted to worry about was his music and how he could include it into his future after he graduated.

Adrien turned to his best friend and smiled a little. The kindness in it not reaching his eyes. He put a hand onto his shoulder to comfort him. 

“I am sorry. Let’s play some more games”, he suggested but Nino only shook his head.

“No. Sorry, dude but I just can’t handle this depressing shit anymore”, he said, voice low and strangely serious. It didn’t suit him well. “We planned to hang out with everyone today. We wanted to have some _fun_. We planned this already for a _month_ because Mr Model here needed to arrange his schedule first.”

Alya was staring at her boyfriend and opened her mouth, wanting to interfere but Nino only cut her off.

“No. You don’t get it. Haven’t you noticed? We are just sitting here since you wanted to check on the Ladyblog real quick! We sit here in darkness and I have to look at Adrien with his creepy look of whatever shit that it”, he says waving towards his best friend and scoffs, making the blond’s eyes widen a little. “And I have to watch my girl get depressed over some little fight two people had!”

That last part made something in Adrien snap and he glared at his best friend.

“This was not some ‘little fight’, Nino”, he hissed, his voice dark and dangerous. He was pissed.

Nino only returned his glare with a blank look.

“This is exactly what I meant. Dude… who are you? Because you certainly are not my best friend.”

* * *

Marinette felt angry, betrayed, misunderstood, abandoned, frustrated and sad. It was a heavy mix of negative feelings how she had never felt them before. At least not like this. One by one, maybe. But not all at once.

She was walking up and down in her room, in one hand one of the cookies she had done this morning and munched on it with a frown, her whole body tense and still aching. She haven’t used Luck Charm in the earlier fight so she was unable to cure her own wounds, what punished her now with pain shooting through her body with each step.

How could this have happened? How could Chat Noir become corrupted and start working against her? Weren’t they supposed to fight for the same cause? Weren’t they supposed to stand side by side, shielding each other’s back, fighting against Hawkmoth and his Akumas? Wasn’t this what they were supposed to do?

Why did Chat leave her? Why did he abandon Ladybug? When has he stopped believing into the same things she did? When did he turn his back to her? When did he start showing her the cold shoulder? When did his eyes start to express this sadness, regret and grieve? When did he stop looking at her with this look of admiration and love that had slowly started to make butterflies flutter in her stomach? 

She had started to fall for him and now he threw it all away. 

Frustrated she threw the rest of her cookie into her mouth. It tasted salty. The stream of tears running down her cheeks had altered the taste of the chocolate chip cookie. But it was fine. She felt bitter anyway. Empty and lost. Salty didn’t sum up at all what she was feeling towards Chat Noir right now.

She was angry, furious, frustrated and felt lonely. It burned her from the inside, the fire devouring every single positive thought she might have. She started seeing red, the negative feelings all taking over as she looked around the room and looked with an empty expression at the posters of Adrien Agreste that decorated her walls.

His smile was radiant, able to light up her world on every other day. But today wasn’t every other day and his happy and innocent expression only pissed her off. 

How was he able to smile like this when she was going through hell? 

She knew it was irrational but something snapped at that moment inside of her. She reached out and ripped the biggest of the posters apart. The sound of the tearing paper brought her some strange kind of satisfaction and a small chuckle left her lips. It was a cold one, empty of any positive vibe.

And since she seemed to feel better when she tore the first one, she tore a second on and grinned when the paper ripped, the sound of it pleasant to her eyes. 

She lost control. She was broken and not to be fixed. She reached out over and over again, ripping one poster after another. And once it was off the wall she would rip it into smaller pieces, getting satisfaction of the model’s face getting taken apart into tiny pieces and would drop them carelessly onto the floor. 

None of her friends knew how shitty she felt right now, none of them had a fucking clue. And she was sick of it, sick of it all. Sick of the love and admiration she felt for Adrien and sick of the butterflies she had felt when she had thought of Chat. They were all the same. They would all only betray her. She was alone. No one would understand her. No one.

She went into autopilot mode and threw her sewing supplies off the table, flipping it and kicking at one of it’s legs until it snapped and broke. She ripped some of her pushies and threw her pillows all across the room. She punched some, until she fell face first onto her bed and she just screamed and screamed. Screamed out her frustration, the hurt, the pain. 

She laid there for a while until the screams subsided into cries and sobs. Her body was shaking violently and she just kept her face buried in the messed up sheet and the salty water of her tears just drenched the fabric beneath her.

It was only hours later when she finally got up again, her face expressing how tired and exhausted she felt. Her room looked like a battle scene and she blocked it out, stepping over pieces of whatever she had gotten into her hands during her fit of anger.

With heavy steps and quiet sobs she walked towards her parent’s room, seeking the comfort and shelter of her parents like a small child after a nightmare. 

She opened quietly the door to her parent’s bedroom and sneaked inside. It was dark, the light off. The silence made her gulp and she walked towards the bed, crawling over it like the little child she wished she were, without any cares in this world.

She covered herself with a blanket and felt only little comfort. It didn’t feel right…

Silent tears started streaming over her cheek once again. There seemed no end to them tonight as she tried to get a grip of herself.

“Maman… Papa… I miss you”, she whispered with grief struck voice as she hugged her mother’s pillow, the familiar scent comforting her a little as her parents smiled at her from the picture on the nightstand.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You just might find a little bit of the past, a little bit of now and a little bit of what might happen still.

Chat Noir played with the ring around his finger. The green glowing paw on it was taunting him and reminded him that his time was limited. Another Beep and another dot disappeared as he sighed and let his eyes roam over the roofs of the nightly Parisian scenery. His eyes, glowing just as green as the fading mark, were filled with a sad expression and it took him all he had not to tear up.

He heard footsteps approaching from behind him and he sighed, glancing over to the clock on a church tower. It was already that late, huh? Looking up to the sky he let the person come closer, pretending not to notice they had arrived.

_Did you wait long, chaton?_ , he heard a faint voice inside his head. A memory, faint but still here. Faint because he tried to forget. It was too painful...

Why was it him that had to go through all this?

"Here you are", a familiar male voice said quietly. If you really believed into it, if you hoped for it, you could hear faint concern and even sympathy for the teenage boy.

Chat though only snorted bitter and smiled sadly.

"Yeah. Here I am", he retorted.

It wasn't like he didn't appreciate the rare emotions the person was showing him but it didn't make anything better. Sure, they were somehow closer now but still so far away. Chat knew he _tried_ to understand but he still doubted that he really was able to understand the pain within him.

The person behind him didn't react to his rude answer because he indeed understood how painful it must be for the cat boy right now.

"Let's go back home", he instead suggested quietly and tired to curl up his lips into a smile for the boy, putting a hand onto the boy's shoulder in a reassuring matter.

But Chat Noir didn't answer and the man looked at him sadly, seeing himself in the boy. Slowly he sat down and pulled the boy into an hug with a deep sigh and didn't even let go once Chat's transformation wore off and the boy fell asleep from exhaustion.

* * *

_**A while ago, when all started and a world broke down:** _

Ladybug was smiling and cheerful as the two of them finally got a hold of the akumatized object and she was about to destroy it. Everything in her life was going smoothly lately and today she had got the acceptance letter for an internship over the summer. Sure, it wasn't Gabriel Agreste's fashion house but still she would gain more experience and improve her skills. And of course Gabriel Agreste couldn't just give out internships to students. And once she would be able to apply for one she wanted to be ready. She wanted it so much and it seemed like lately everything was working in her favor.

At the same time she didn't think too much into it. She was Ladybug after all - her superpower was literally luck - so it was only natural her superpowers affected her civilian live as well. Tikki had mentioned it could happen.

She didn't realize it was the high before the fall. 

How should she? Usually she didn't have to worry about some destroyed houses. but she also didn't notice that the Akuma this time (he was one of the bigger types) had used a billboard he had torn off from a house and threw it at her which she had evaded with Chat's help. And it wasn't her who looked over her shoulder and had noticed the same billboard sticking out of the glass front of a too familiar bakery.

It had been Chat who felt his stomach drop first, who's eyes widened and who's voice called out Matinette's name as he rushed off and left Ladybug confused behind with an unconscious person lying on the street from the after effects of the fight. It was him who made her turn around and made her see what the Akuma had caused. It was Chat who was in the bakery first and cursed himself that he had used up Cataclysm already. The billboard was in his way and he only saw that it definitely did destroy the counter. 

"Ladybug! Use your cure! _Quick_!", he called out, noticing the numb Ladybug standing behind him. 

To say that she was shocked was an understatement. A big understatement. Ladybug was shaken, forgot how to breath and everything around her. That one billboard was what made her tremble, shiver in fear and shock.

"My Lady! Ladybug! Come on! Please!", Chat pleaded and shook his partner. 

In a daze and with a lifeless expression she finally destroyed the object and dropped the Lucky Charm as she mumbled with a hushed whisper the words she memorized like her own name.

And as the magic around them made the billboard disappear and seemingly repaired everything about the bakery, Chat Noir ran forward and jumped over the counter to check if Marinette and her family were in the house, trying to get to the door behind the counter only to land onto something, twisting his ankle and landing on something soft.

When his eyes landed on the face of Sabine Cheng he took a sharp breath and hurried to get off her, noticing the blood sticking onto his suit. Terror filled him as he searched for a pulse. and it took him only a few moments until he noticed the man lying next to her.

This day Ladybug failed to repair two things. And those were the bodies of her own parents.

* * *

_**Back to the now where everything is broken** _

Marinette woke up to the sun shining into her face and she pulled the pillow closer to her again. It was still slightly damp from all the crying and tears. She groaned and tried to shield the sunlight by burying her face even deeper into the pillow. But it was useless. She was already awake. With a sigh she lifted her head up slowly, eyes bloodshot and dark shadows beneath them as her blue eyes widened and she pulled the pillow closer to herself again, sniffing at it.

"No.... no no no no no no no no no no... no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no", she mumbled over and over again as she sniffed at the pillow again and again.

It was fading, disappearing and leaving. The smell of her mother was fading and she couldn't stop it. 

With each time she'd repeat the word "no" she'd get more desperate and her cries got louder, sobs shaking her form. 

Her parents were gone and so would their smell one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did warn you about angst and damn, I am not even close with finishing it all.
> 
> Sorry for the short chapter. But I thought this was enough angst for once.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things change. Choices are being made. And the story's characters just get a little more helpless.

Alya looked at the shell of a girl she used to know, used to spend her time with. But over the last few months they had gradually drifted further and further apart.

It all started the day Marinette’s parent’s died. 

To say that it had thrown the aspiring designer into a dark endless pitch black pit of grief and devastation wouldn’t even sum up what had happened inside the half-asian girl once it doomed upon her that she would never wake up to the smell of freshly baked goods and would never see the gentle smile of her parents again when they once again witnessed another clumsy event of her.

They were gone. Forever.

Alya watched the girl sit down next to her, looking so much more like a zombie than anything else. The pale cheeks showed proof of fresh tears, her face scrunched up in a constant expression of pain and agony.

This was different. 

Alya already had gotten used to Marinette’s lifeless expression, the dead eyes and the sickly appearance. But Marinette had showed less and less any kind of expression on her face the more time passed after the death of the baker and his wife. What had happened now that made the girl flinch at a thought Alya couldn’t guess? Why was Marinette’s face filled with the expression of a person constantly being tortured, a person who is tired and gave up on everything but can’t help but still feel the ache.

“Mari…?”, Alya asked quietly and frowned. To say that she was worried was an understatement. How Marinette hadn’t been akumatized after the death of her parents was a mystery to everyone who knew Marinette. 

Marinette’ s dull blue eyes looked at Alya, her expression relaxing a little, as if remembering that she still had the aspiring reporter at her side soothed a little of her pain. For a short moment, not longer than a blink of an eye, something flickered inside of Marinette’s eyes and Alya saw it. She noticed it and clung onto it. 

Marinette was showing emotions again.   
And the brunette couldn’t care less if they were negative or positive ones as long as her best friend still showed the tiniest sign of life.

“What happened?”, asked Alya quietly. 

She needed to know what caused that change. Whatever it was, it could help to get Marinette out of her constant state of drowning in the darkness that took over her life.

But what Marinette said next was nothing Alya had expected.

“He betrayed me… he left… he teamed up with the enemy… he is a traitor…”, the hollow voice of the girl spoke quietly, only for Alya to hear and not loud enough for Adrien to peak on the conversation.

The young model frowned and tried to lean further back, trying to get a glimpse on what Marinette was saying.

He felt guilty in a way. After all his job as Chat Noir had been to protect the citizens of Paris and he had failed to save the parents of his classmate, his very first friend he had made at this school. 

He hadn’t know whom to blame. His bad luck? Or simply his incompetence? 

Was there even any use in pondering and wondering about what he could have done differently? What could have saved Marinette’s parents?

Because in the end they still won’t come back. They won’t wake up again.

Or so he thought. 

Clenching his fist, Adrien remembered Hawkmoth’s words. The story behind the almighty power the wielder of both the ladybug and the cat miraculous would gain. It could even bring dead people back, Hawkmoth had said. And Adrien, knowing how much it hurt to lose a parent, his heart hurting and twisting in pain for Marinette, had fallen for Hawmoth’s words. 

_No_ , Adrien reminded himself. _It was the right thing to do._

Looking down onto his clenched fist his expression changed and as Nino glanced over to his best friend an icy shower ran down his spine, making him tremble and look away as quickly as possible.

* * *

Adrien walked up the stair and looked at the big portrait as he got closer and closer. The dark and dull atmosphere it was giving off made him uncomfortable and he looked up to his own sullen expression and the usual stern expression on his father’s face. He had seen the picture a million times and yet he couldn’t get used to it. It showed so clearly that the two males on the picture were not a family but simply two persons bound by blood.

“Adrien”, Nathalie’s voice behind him echoed through the way too big entrance hall. 

The blond didn’t turn around, he only stopped and kept looking at the picture as he replied with a rather cold and distant voice.

“Yes?”

Nathalie pursed her lips and frowned. Lately Adrien had been even less talkative than usually. She didn’t know what was recently happening between father and son but she wasn’t too sure if she could support Gabriel’s effort to spend more time with his son. It did something to Adrien and it scared her how the young model didn’t even tried to hide his negative emotions anymore. He was more open to her and the residents of the Agreste Mansion but at the same time it terrified everyone. 

“Your… father wanted me to tell you that he won’t make it to dinner tonight. He apologizes”, she said quietly, noticing how Adrien didn’t face her and winced when Adrien’s cold and bitter laugh echoed through the hall. And the boy continued his way over to his room, his laughter not even once getting more quiet or stopping.

When the boy entered his room his laugher changed though. Chuckles turned gradually into sobs, his shoulders still shaking but his frame curling up, body sliding down the wall he had been leaning onto and face buried in his hands.

Plagg only could watch the boy break down with sadness overflowing in his green glowing eyes, his tiny black ears hanging down.

* * *

“We have to. There is no other way.”

“No! You can not just do this again! You promised whole Paris to give up! For Paris’ sake you swore to stop!”

A head being shaken.

“No. I promised for your sake I would give it up. To keep you safe. But you see where it lead to.”

“But… no… You can not go and hurt people again!”

“Be reasonable. There is no other way.”

“No! Let me try talk to her! There has to be a way!”

“Talk to her? We already witnessed how much talking the two of you did the last time.”

* * *

Alya leaned back in her chair, biting her lip and looking with a serious expression on her computer screen.

“Maybe change the theme?”, she asked herself and looked at the colorful theme with Chat Noir’s and Ladybug’s signs. 

Alya had tried to find out already for a while how she should include the changes the two superheroes went through lately to her blog. The blog looked… wrong. The whole atmosphere didn’t fit with the events in Paris anymore.

Things were changing drastically. So her blog had to change as well.

Hours later she still wasn’t finished and even though she had reduced the three colors green, black and red to only two colors, it still seemed wrong. Pulling her mouse over to the title of her blog she looked at it.

 _Ladyblog_.

Alya clicked onto it and the cursor showed up, blinking and waiting for her to make a decision. 

“Arg! I can’t!”, the blogger groaned and stood up, turning off the computer by holding the on/off button, not saving any changes she had done. 

Maybe she should just delete the whole blog.

* * *

“Marinette… What are you planning to do?”, Tikki asked, concerned and her little face a mask of worry.

“I am going to find Chat Noir and defeat him”, the noirette said simply.

“What?!”, the kwamii gasped.

“He betrayed us. He is playing for the other side now”, she said quietly and looked seriously at Tikki.

“But Marinette… you are partners!”

“We _were_ partners”, Marinette corrected her with a cold voice and it was obviously she had made a choice. A choice Tikki couldn’t support but before she could say anything, only getting to open her mouth to protest, she already was pulled into the earring, internally screaming for Marinette, screaming not to do it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien fails to catch her fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I am truly sorry for keeping everyone waiting for so long and I hope you can all forgive me.  
> I was going through some tough things lately (including a breakup and other personal events) and am now fine again but there was a time I was truly not.  
> I hope you can all forgive me and I will promise to definetly update more often again.

Ladybug stood tall on top of the Eiffel Tower.

“Where are you, mon chaton?”, she whispered quietly and looked far ahead into the night, wishing to have the night vision her partner had. _Former_ partner. 

After all he had betrayed her.

Quietly she observed the night and waited. But he never showed up. 

Well, it was to expected. He had no reason to come for their usual nightly patrols anymore. After all the whole _Ladybug and Chat Noir_ thing was now history. Gone and lost forever.

With a sigh Ladybug reached out for the yo-yo on her hip and considered for a moment to call him but at the same time... what were the chances that he was even in costume? And would he even pick up the phone? Would he reject her call? Would he even let her speak and hear out? Or would he try to convince her once again to give up her Miraculous to him and Hawkmoth?

In the meanwhile Chat Noir was sitting in not far beneath Ladybug, observing her quietly, not making his presence noticeable to her. He saw the doubt and pain in her face. He saw the face of the person he loved the most twist in agony.

His expression was tense and he had to take another deep breath to calm his mind, to not call out to Ladybug and once again demanding her to give up her Miraculous. Now wasn't the time for that though. 

He was forced to watch from the shadows and make sure nothing too bad would happen.

That no one would die. 

Because his father didn't seem like he was anywhere close to giving up.

Once again Hawkmoth was ready to use his powers to get Ladybug's miraculous.

* * *

One fateful day, seemingly a long time ago from the moment Ladybug would look into the distance, sure that Chat Noir and her would never meet peacefully again, not aware of him observing her from below.

But wasn't it really that long ago? It felt like an eternity but that didn't mean that it wasn't actually only a few weeks ago, maybe months. For Marinette the world stopped moving the day she discovered the corpses of her parents. That was the day time lost it's value to her, making every second unbearable, filled with grief and sorrow.

For Adrien though the time since then, as frozen as he was from the horrors he had seen, the wold continued spinning for him and even sped up a little.

He was helpless, trying his best to stand by Marinette's side and yet not able to help, to ease her pain. He was unable to stop the live draining from her eyes, her expression getting more and more lifeless with each day.

He was trying to catch up with her fall, trying to be fast enough to catch her, to keep her from falling deeper but her fall was faster than he could have ever anticipated.

 

**Shorty after the death of Marinette's parents...**

“Hey, Mari! You are back to school?”, Adrien called out to her, trying to keep his usual mask, acting like the cheerful boy he was supposed to be in public. The perfect Mr Nice everyone knew him as.

Marinette though didn't react much. A simple nod was all he was able to get as an response and it left a bitter taste. His mask wasn't able to withstand the lifeless expression on her face, her eyes filled with more sadness than he thought one person was supposed to ever feel. His model smile faded, leaving a worried expression behind.

“Are you okay?”, he asked, not knowing what else to say but well knowing that it was one of the most stupid things to ask. Of course she wasn't fine. Why would he even ask that? Why make her aware of the fact that she was not fine? 

He cursed himself for his stupid question.

“Do I look okay?”, she muttered, her voice monotone and the only emotion hidden within it was sarcasm and spite. It cause a stabbing sensation in his heart, seeing his friend like this.

This was not the Marinette he used to know. 

She used to be the kindest girl next to Ladybug he had ever met. She used to make people smile and cheered them up. She used to stand up for people, tall and strong (as tall as the petite girl could seem) and she was always the ray of sunshine that had made everyone's schooldays brighter even thought sometimes she was more like a storm when someone dared to do wrong in her presence. Her sense of justice and her honest confidence had always been admirable to Adrien and he always wished she would have treated him the same way as she treated everyone else.

He wished he would have got known better to the Marinette he used to know.

Now she was broken.

A mere shell of her former self.

And it had taken only a few days to make her break down like this.

What damage would be done within weeks? Months?

Adrien knew he wasn't her best friend but knowing that it was his fault he just had to take care of her, help her through these hard times.

And while he peaked onto her face during class and saw how she acted, he for once wished that Marinette would be the old Marinette again. Even if it would mean she would push him away while welcoming others. It was still better than watching her push away anyone, even those she had left to care about.

A few days later after Marinette had come back to school, her changes seemingly stopped.

She didn't seem to fall further.

She had reached the bottom of the pit. 

And Adrien came too late to catch her.

 

**At this moment...**

Marinette gave up waiting. The more time passed, the more uncomfortable she felt staying at her former favorite place in Paris.

The view used to enchant her but now it all just reminded her of the good old times. A time when Chat Noir hadn't sided with Hawkmoth yet and a time when the bakery was still filled with the warm smell of freshly baked goods.

A small melancholic smile curved up her lips and she gently touched the steel of the famous landmark.

“I wish I could turn back time... Or just make this all stop”, she mumbled and her eyes teared up, she allowing herself to show a little weakness, let out some of the darkness inside of her.

Because no matter how many tears she already had shed, there still seemed plenty to come.

The silent heavy atmosphere of the starry night was ripped appart by a loud crash.

One that shouldn't be there. A crash Paris didn't think they would see ever again.

And as Ladybug's expression hardened and her eyes grew ice cold as she looked over to the location of the explosion, she only mumbled a few words that never reached Chat Noir's ears as his eyes were widened in horror.

“Father... why...?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mhhh~ Enjoy and please feel free to comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts, dear reader.

The late hours were disturbed by the loud laugh of the akuma walking through the streets.

“I am Golden Boy and I will show you that no girl can resist me!”, the akuma shouted. “No one will reject me ever again!”

He smiled with bright white teeth towards a girl and pushed down his sunglasses a little so his eyes could peak over the rim of his shades. The young woman stood there, hypnotized and stumbled like a zombie towards him, throwing herself at him as if she was crazy for him.

“My god... please make me yours...”, she sighed and fell like in a love crazy daze onto her knees in front of him, making Golden Boy only smirk and push up his glasses again.

“Good girl. You will follow me and I might reward you, understood?”

The hypnotized woman nodded and joined the growing group of females behind the akuma.

Ladybug watched the scene with growing anger. Hawkmoth had broken the promise he had given Paris months ago. He was akumatizing people again. And she would stop him. She had to. He had killed her parents. She would destroy him and everything that was dear to him. He was a monster. He would deserve what would come at him... He even corrupted Chat Noir and pulled him onto his side... It was a nightmare coming true.

She threw her yo-yo and swung herself down onto the street in front of Golden Boy. 

“Stop right there!”, she shouted and glared at the akuma. 

She didn't knew what Golden Boy was planning with all those women, but he clearly wouldn't have anything good in mind. After all he was an akuma and those were all bad. 

Golden Boy laughed and his golden chain with his name around his neck chimed with his shaking chest.

“Another cutie came to join my collection! How nice!”, he replied and smirked at Ladybug. “No female can resist me. All their hearts will belong to me.”

Chat Noir watched the whole scene from a roof nearby, careful to not be spotted by Ladybug. He didn't want to get involved. But this was certainly an unfortunate situation for Ladybug. She wouldn't be able to look at the akuma or even fight him properly. This akuma was only effective against females and he was not on her side anymore. So she was alone. Vulnerable and defenseless. Of course he didn't underestimate her but her chances were just too low without her partner.

He was grateful that Hawkmoth seemed to have found a person who would make Ladybug submit without having to use violence. Chat had to admit, that Hawkmoth did indeed try to keep his promise to Chat Noir. And if this was the most peaceful way to resolve this situation, then he would even consider giving the akuma a helping hand.

He only didn't like the way Golden Boy's 'followers' left a trail of destruction behind them. Those women were terrifying... The way the set houses ablaze and destroyed things was scary. Everything not worthy of Golden Boy was being destroyed.

“I dare you to come at me”, Chat heard Ladybug say and he sighed as Ladybug seemed to take Golden Boy up front. A glimpse into his eyes and the whole conflict was over and he would be able to bring back Marinette's parents back... Turn back time and bring peace and happiness back.

“Your heart will be mine, Ladybug! And so will be your Miraculous!”, Golden Boy laughed and pulled off his sunglasses, throwing them aside. 

His breath hitched as he watched Ladybug.

She smiled. But her smile was full of pain and sadness, her eyes lifeless and it was the most painful thing to watch for Chat. Her smile showed how broken she was, the torturing feelings she had been hiding from her ex-partner and he realized one thing. 

“I don't have a heart anymore”, Ladybug said quietly and she looked straight at Golden Boy, not fearing his hypnotizing gaze as her smile changed into an expression so different that it made Chat Noir shudder.

This wasn't his lady. She was long dead and gone.

And she wouldn't come back.

* * *

Ladybug slowly walked up to the man on the ground in front of her, her expression not changed from before. 

Golden Boy was defeated. 

Standing in front of the body on the floor, she released the now purified butterfly and caught it, looking at it with her lifeless eyes.

“Hawkmoth... You shall suffer just like I did. I will find you and defeat you. No matter what it takes”, she whispered to the butterfly and with a sinister grin she grabbed the wings of the white butterfly and ripped it into half.

* * *

_”It was confirmed that the corpse found last night around 2 am was indeed Roberto Eolgani, the man who was akumatized and named himself Golden Boy. It is true Hawkmoth broke the peace he had promised Paris. More about this and a throughout discussion on why he is back in our late night news program tonight.”_

* * *

Adrien stared at the empty paper in front of him. He was still trying to comprehend what had happened. He didn't understand anything anymore. Since that one day Marinette's parents died because they hadn't been careful enough, both him and Ladybug were constantly on edge and it was obviously she was hiding something big from him. But he had never thought that this event had shaken her up _this_ much. Why hadn't he noticed?

He sighed quietly. Not only Marinette was broken. But his lady, too.

No... she wasn't his lady anymore. He had no right calling her that. Not even in his mind.

The world around him was falling apart. 

He thought he had seen the bottom already but who would have thought that everything could get even more horrible?

Nino nudged him, tearing him away from his depressing thoughts.

Adrien threw his head up and noticed the teacher's glare. Embarrassed he mumbled an apology. He really should try to pay more attention in class.

* * *

“Marinette! Why did you do this?”

“I don't know... I was angry. He promised and yet...”

“You killed him!”

“I know... I am sorry... But he killed my parents.”

“You can not abuse your powers anymore..”

“I know. I shouldn't have killed him. He could have told me where _he_ is...”

“Mari-”

“Shush. I don't want to listen to this anymore. I don't care. I only care about one thing.”

“Master Fu-”

“He can come at me if he dares to. No one will get in my way, Tikki. Not even you. Understood?”

“Marinette...”

“Tikki. I don't want to repeat myself.”

“...Fine... I understand...”


	6. Chapter 6

Marinette opened her eyes suddenly, her breath ragged and eyes wide in panic. She was panting, her chest heaving rapidly and she got out of bed quickly and ran towards the bathroom, emptying her already empty stomach into the toilet. She kept gagging and tears started streaming down her face. When her stomach stopped cramping she flushed and weakly walked towards her room. She stumbled on her way though and fell, landing onto the cold hard floor. Her sobs shook her frame and Tikki flew to her, worried and scared for the girl.

“Marinette?”, she called out to her and the noirette just turned around to her back and kept crying, her tears running down her cheeks.

Tikki sighed and nuzzled up to the girl's cheek. 

“Another nightmare?”, she asked and Marinette only started sobbing louder.

“I-I killed someone! I killed a person!”, she cried and Tikki smiled sadly, wiping as good as she could the girl's tears. 

“Shhh... It was just a dream, Marinette. It was just a dream.”

* * *

Alya sat down next to Marinette and looked at her with a sigh. 

“Girl, you look even more horrible than usually. What happened?”, she asked.

“Nightmare”, Marinette mumbled and Alya patted her back. 

“Cheer up, it was just a dream. Enjoy reality instead. Reality seems always suddenly so much brighter after a nightmare to me.”

“Reality is almost as shitty as the nightmare, Alya”, Marinette replied. “Not even in my dreams I get to see my parents anymore.”

“I am sorry... But look, we are all worried. Even Adrien keeps asking about you every day. You should just talk to him. Time to start a family on your own girl!”

Marinette raised one eyes brow. In the past she would have blushed furiously but the past has been hard on her and the was calmer... more quiet now.

“Isn't it a bit soon for that?”, she mumbled. “I don't know if I even want one... This world is too dangerous...”

“You can't keep living with that attitude, girl. You have to go out, enjoy yourself more again and build your own family.”

“But I liked my family just like it was... I don't want a new one...”

* * *

Chat Noir looked at Hawkmoth. 

“You do know you broke your promise?”, he asked. “I doubt anyone in Paris thinks you getting involved is a good thing.”

“My akuma almost had her. If you haven't saved her when he put her to sleep, we would have had her Miraculous already. Your actions were uncalled for and the opposite of what we've discussed. You broke our agreement.”

Chat Noir scoffed and shook his head. 

“After hearing her words... I couldn't help but wonder what happened to her. She said she lost her heart... What hurt Ladybug that much?”

Hawkmoth just waved his hand as if a noisy fly was flying near him.

“Doesn't matter. She obviously still had a heart as she fell for the akuma's spell. It would have been over quick and smoothly. But you just had to ruin it.”

“Who wouldn't pity her?! You haven't seen her!”

“Oh, I did. Or do I have to remind you that I see everything my akumas see, too? I saw her. But unlike you I wouldn't kiss her feet”, Hawkmoth commented coldly and Char Noir clenched his fists.

“You are still as heartless as ever”, he spat out and shook his head. “I told you that I will get her miraculous under the condition that you wouldn't do anything to her or Paris! And yet that akuma's victims destroyed a big deal of that shopping street. Because you had to interfere people died from the fires and collapsed buildings!”

“One person died”, Hawkmoth corrected him.”If you hadn't been saving Ladybug, then he would have survived.”

Chat Noir shook his head. 

“If I would have left her there, then both would have been dead. Those hypnotized girls were just simply too violent. They managed to kill off your akuma. Isn't this ridiculous? By the time I carried her to a few roofs away from the whole scene, your puppet was already dead. I thought that you had stopped after the last time you killed someone. Don't forget you ruined a dear friend's life with what you did!”, Chat Noir shouted and his voice grew in volume with every sentence. If he weren't in his costume he would have never dared to say anything. 

Hawkmoth sighed. 

“I am sorry the Dupain-Chengs had to die like this... I never planned to kill them... You know that”, he mumbled quietly.

But Chat Noir didn't pity the man in front of him. He had forgiven him once, believed in his promise that he made months ago, promising he would never create another akuma ever again. He had broken the promise, broke his trust. 

“And yet they are dead”, Chat Noir said quietly and turned around, walking away from Hawkmoth and out of the room. He needed time to himself.

“I wish this would be just a horrible dream”, he sighed and looked down as he walked through the long hallways.


	7. Chapter 7

“I wonder who Hawkmoth is.”

Alya looked at Marinette with wide eyes, thinking she must have heard wrong.

“Can you repeat that?”, Alya asked.

“I wonder who Hawkmoth is. What kind of person and so on.”

Alya's eyes narrowed and leaned closer to Marinette, her eyes back to the front where the teacher was explaining another Math problem they'll not understand on their own.

“Do you want to take revenge on him? Because of your parents?”

Marinette winced and looked down. It still hurt her each time someone mentioned her parents. She was far from over it. 

“Shit... Sorry, girl. I didn't mean to say that... but you better not try to find him. He is dangerous.”

“I know... It's just... When he found out my parents died due to his attack... He stopped. Apologized, paid me a large sum of compensation money-” Saying that still felt bitter on her tongue. No money in this world could compensate for what he has caused. “-and he left Chat Noir and Ladybug alone. But why now? Why did he come back? And why did Chat Noir betray Ladybug?”

“Marinette...”

Alya looked concerned at her friend and saw the tears glistening in her eyes. Alya always suspected that she had been a fan of Chat Noir, maybe even knew him because they met in a few attacks, and it must hurt Marinette greatly that her favorite hero teamed up with the one who caused the death of her parents.

Alya opened her mouth, wanted to say some comforting words but before she had a chance to, Marinette lifted up her head and the tears in her eyes were already dried up. Her expression was once again the cold mask the noirette used to wear ever since that horrible accident. Alya's voice failed her and the coldness radiating from Marinette made her shudder. 

The usually sweet and gentle girl was gone, Alya reminded herself. Right, she was gone.

Marinette watched the teacher quietly and earned a pitiful look from them. Everyone heard. It had been all over the news. Everyone pitied her. She didn't need pity. She needed things to go back to how they used to be.

And no matter how much she liked Chat, she had to remember the facts. Even thought he rescued her the last time, he didn't stay with her. No. He instead went back to Hawkmoth. Even if he didn't seem to like what Hawkmoth has done, he still didn't seem to go back on whatever plan they had. Marinette only knew that the plan included getting her Miraculous. 

Chat Noir and Hawkmoth worked together. They were the bad ones. Her enemies. She mustn't forget that. Chat Noir worked together with a murderer. Chat Noir turned evil.

Hawkmoth committed an unforgivable crime. He only got off the hook because no one knew who was behind the mask. He had been too much of a coward to show who was behind that mask. He didn't let law judge him properly. If he had, he would be in prison for life. But he was still on the loose. He was a murderer. 

And what unnerved Marinette the most was that no one seemed to bother to search for the murderer. She had been abandoned.

And she couldn't do anything. The person he akumatized last week died unfortunately before she could question him. 

The akuma... Her eyes narrowed. The murderer. He was still alive and she would find him.

* * *

A greasy middle aged man walked through his small messy apartment. During the last few month since he had been akumatized he had dived deeper and deeper in self-loathing. The fact he actually killed two people in his akuma form destroyed and ate him up from inside. He could never forgive himself. Even thought the authorities chose not to punish him because he had been just one of Hawkmoth's puppets back then, he was punished by the everlasting regret. 

Sometimes he wondered what happened to the bakery and he came into that area just to check up on the daughter of those he had killed. And it destroyed him every time. He didn't know her name and yet seeing her sadness ate him up inside every time he saw her dead eyes. So he stopped going there. He couldn't endure seeing the girl's spirits slowly fading away.

There was a knock on his window and he looked over, only to see Ladybug waiting outside. His eyes widened and his guilt once again overwhelmed him with full force. Why was she here?

He let her in and Ladybug stood in front of him. Her aura felt so much different to how it used to appear. She used to be a happy, gentle girl. But now her gaze felt cold, making him tremble. He forgot how dirty and messy his apartment was, unsuitable for the girl that had just entered through his window. All he could do was stare at her like a deer staring into headlights. 

“I have a few things to ask you”, Ladybug said quietly.

He nod. He would willingly answer her everything. He didn't know what it was but her presence felt scary to him. Was it because of his guilt of what he has done? After all, he had killed those two people while he had been fighting her. 

“Go ahead... I am sorry for the mess”, he answered when he noticed she apparently was waiting for him to reply properly.

“It's fine. I want to know everything about Hawkmoth you remember from that day if you can. You have been akumatized. You surely must remember something. He must have talked to you right before you transformed, right?”

Her voice was cold, sending shivers down his spine. He tried swallowing the heavy knot in his throat but to no avail.

“I am sorry... I don't remember anything... I remember the black butterfly but I don't remember anything else.”

Ladybug frowned and her eyes narrowed, staring intensely at him, trying to read if he was saying the truth. All she could see was the fear he felt. She took a deep breath, trying to not let the anger and disappointment take over her and turned around.

“I see. Then I'll be leaving.”

The man blinked surprised, not expecting this. He jumped forward and grabbed her wrist.

“Wait! Ladybug... I am sorry for that day... I killed two people... That girl's parents... I watched her and she fell deeper and deeper into grieve, I saw it. I am sorry. I just don't know what to do anymore. If you need help with anything, I would help you with anything.”

Ladybug's hand around her yo-yo gripped it even tighter and she felt the familiar stabbing feeling she felt as soon as someone mentioned her parents and her heart was twisting in pain, her control gone. She pulled her wrist away from the man's grip and gulped heavily, trying hard to not let her eyes tear up.

“I don't need you. You can go ahead and do whatever, even die. You are of no use for me”, she hissed and jumped out of the window, leaving the man behind, thinking.

It ended up with him thinking that she might be right. He should just go ahead and die.


End file.
